Why #AllLivesMatter Should Not Be a Thing Right Now

Let's get this straight up front...all lives do matter. God knew us in our mother's womb, He created our inmost being (Psalm 139:13) and He made us in His image (Genesis 1:27). He made us with a purpose and a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and He calls us His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). So yes, all lives matter. Black lives, white lives, brown lives.

However, responding with "#AllLivesMatter" when someone says, "#BlackLivesMatter" at a time like this is ridiculous, uncalled for, and irrelevant. It would be like someone saying, "We must find a cure to Covid-19" only for someone to respond, "No, we must find a cure to Ebola!" It is simply not what our world is fighting right now. We must fight for justice where justice is needed.

Here is the thing, friends. We have proved a countless times that white lives matter. White people have a disproportionate amount of high paying jobs, white people hold the majority of elected positions, on and on and on. But what is most sad is white people never have to worry about simply living. They don't have to worry about going on a run and getting shot. They don't have to worry about getting arrested while completing daily routine tasks, they don't have to worry that someone will gun them down for no reason. Friends, it is obvious that we have already proved that white lives matter.

But black lives? Our black brothers and sisters are scared to go on runs. They are scared to walk into public areas in dark clothes. They are scared to be out at night. They are scared to live normal lives. And until we realize that this is not okay, WE are the problem. We are not treating every life as valuable. We are allowing this to continue to happen.

I am sure by now we have all heard of the sad passing of 25 year old Ahmaud Arbery. Arbery was out for a run when two white men who allegedly thought he was a robber followed him and shot him to death. These two thought an innocent man was a criminal simply because of his skin color. An innocent young man with his whole life ahead of him, killed because of blatant racism.

This news broke me. The two murderers, both white men, yet to be charged. Disgusting.

Right now, more than ever, we need to know that #BlackLivesMatter.

To my white brothers and sisters, you do matter, but let us not selfishly sit back and allow ourselves to be the only ones who do. This, too would be racism. We are not better. The color of our skin does not add extra value to our lives. We must not allow others to be treated this way.

To my black brothers and sisters, I will stand with you. I will stand with you until justice is served. I will stand with you until you can live a normal peaceful life. I will stand with you until you can live without fear. And after that, I will continue to stand with you. I will stand with you for eternity where every tribe, nation, people, and tongue will be peacefully united (Revelation 7:9).

I am praying for justice for Ahmaud and I hope you will too.

-Amy

A side note for you, this is my boyfriend. He is 25, the same age as Ahmaud. He loves and serves me so well and is kind, patient, and gentle with those around him. I pray he is never in this situation. I pray there is a day where I do not have to worry about what could happen if he is out alone. I pray there is a day where we do not get disgusting looks and comments for being together in public. I pray that my future children never have to worry about being stereotyped, or even killed for the color of their skin. More than anything, I pray this never happens to someone's child, spouse, parent, niece, nephew, cousin, or friend again.

Back to Kenya! Fundraising T-shirts!

It is with exceeding joy and thankfulness that I am able to let you all know that I will be back serving with BlueSky for 11 weeks this summer.

When I began to think about the fundraising process, I was a little overwhelmed. Serving in Kenya comes with a large financial commitment and having to go through that process for a third summer seemed like a daunting task. However, God has been so faithful to provide at just the right time.

My go-to fundraiser has always been t-shirts, and I was excited to get to designing for this year. I started with many ideas just because I thought they were cute and would sell well. However, shortly into the designing process I started praying that my shirts would mean something and could tell a story. And man, God showed up big time in that process and I want to tell you about it.

The first shirt seems very girly and cute. However, this shirt has so much meaning. Let’s start with the cute little van. While it may look like a Volkswagen van at first glance, it is designed after a van I rode on as we traveled around Kenya my first summer. I will insert a picture here:

That bus was a place where God grew me in crazy ways. I spent many hours traveling on that bus, reading scripture, and doing a whole lot of soul searching. The other thing that happened on that bus was even better. While we were traveling, some of my teammates formed a “book club.” The book club would sit at the front of the bus and read books aloud. I am not much of a reader and I like to sit quietly and reflect on my own so I decided not to join. However, I would take time to listen to the book club when I could.

One of the books that the book club read was The Insanity of God. This book was based on a true story about a couple who, after their son’s death, became missionaries among the persecuted church. The zeal they had for Christ amongst their pain and heartache was astounding to me.

When we arrived back at camp, we spent a night together watching the movie version of the story. That night, it finally hit me how real Christian persecution was. At the time, I was working through the book of Esther and admired the way that Esther fasted and prayed before she went to the king on behalf of the Jews. While I was praying, I felt the Lord asking me to spend a day fasting on behalf of the persecuted church. To this day, I will still point to that day and that fast as the single most important and significant day of my spiritual life. The Lord spoke to me more clearly that day than He ever has in the past and I never felt closer to Him than I did in those moments. All of that happened because of the book club that started on that cute little bus.

Next, let’s talk about the little cottage. The cottage on the shirt is drawn based on this photo:

Some weeks at camp we stay in a cabin, and some weeks we stay in these cottages. My very first week working with BlueSky my first summer, just 2 days after my fasting day, I moved into one of these cottages to meet my first group of girls. These girls were the girls that made me fall in love with BlueSky’s ministry. This cottage was where I rediscovered my love for children’s ministry.

My second summer, it was in those same cottages that the Lord really stretched me and grew me. My first week in one of those cottages, I found out I was moving up to senior camp. This meant that I was moving into an age group that was more of a youth ministry age than children’s ministry. This scared me and excited me at the same time. It was tough, but again, God showed up and I discovered a passion for youth ministry as well.

Lastly, let’s look at the tree. The tree here is an acacia tree. First, I just love the beauty of the acacia. I always take so many photos of these trees when I am there. But one thing I love is that the acacia grows in well-drained soil in dry and sunny habitats. I hope that it can be said of my life that even in seasons where things just seem so dry, that I continued to grow and flourish in my walk with Christ.

Now let’s move on to the second shirt.

The main thing you probably noticed is the 2 animals that are molded together. On one side, you have a lion. This represents strength and power. In Revelation, God is known as the Lion of Judah. On the other side, you see a lamb. This represents meekness and peace. The lamb is also symbolism of Jesus, the Lamb of God, who came to be the sacrifice and atonement for our sins.

You can also see that the animals have almost a mosaic-type look. The first summer that I did ministry, I worked with a church in New York City called Mosaic Baptist Church. Through Mosaic, God taught me to have a heart for the US. For as long as I can remember, I have felt called overseas and because of that, I sometimes forget how big of a mission field I am on when I am still in the US. That summer also allowed me to dive deeper into children’s ministry which is what ultimately led me to BlueSky.

You will also notice the triangle surrounding the lion and the lamb. I wanted to give the shirt a kind of geometric feel, and I chose a triangle because they are the strongest shape. (Some argue that it’s a hexagon, but just work with me here.) I want my strength to be because I have Christ inside of me, the Lion and the Lamb.

At the bottom, you will see “Mungu Anakupenda.” In Swahili, this means, “God loves you.” My second summer in Kenya, during a week of village ministry, I was struggle with the language barrier. I did the best I could to communicate, but most of the time, my only verbal transactions with the kids was with this phrase. However, each time I would hear the kids say this to me, I was reminded of how sweet the love of God truly is and how His love knows not a single boundary.

Disobedience Problem

If you know me, you know I am not a reader. I have never loved to read and have always found it to be quite a struggle to make it through a book, at least in a decent amount of time. However, this has never stopped me from buying lots of books with all the good intentions in the world to read them,

This past August, I moved into a new apartment and realized that I no longer had a bookshelf that was big enough to hold all the books I had. The thought of buying a new one briefly crossed my mind, but when I looked around my little space, it was quite evident that there wasn't going to be room for me to put one. So my box labeled "book shelf" was taped back up, and shoved in the corner beside my washer and dryer.

This year, I have been trying to be a better reader, so I decided this past week that it was time to get the old book shelf box out and find one of my go-to books to start again and hopefully finish this time.

When I opened the box, I found so many books that I forgot I packed away. Along with these books were journals upon journals filled with heart-felt prayers, Bible studies, sermon notes, and even some middle school-ish journal entries recapping different things.

In one journal, there was an entry that really captured my attention and honestly rocked me to my core. It  was written on December 29, 2015 from my favorite place, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, when I was only 18 years old.

"God, I see you. I see every opportunity you put in front of me to share your love and your gospel with others. It's not that I have a communication problem, it's that I have a disobedience problem. Help me to be bold and without timidity. Help me to declare your name loudly to all the nations. Let me reside in full surrender with nothing holding me back. Nothing I will lose in serving you and being your disciple will be a loss. I can only gain from being a woman with audacious faith. Bring us revival and let it start with me."

It's not that I have a communication problem, it's that I have a disobedience problem....wow. I didn't realize 18 year old Amy had that kind of wisdom.

We live in a time where we have unending opportunities to preach the gospel, yet we don't for fear of being rejected, ridiculed, mocked, and the list goes on and on.

Recently, I have been working through the book of Acts. Acts highlights some of the first missionary journeys. In Acts 5, the apostles appeared before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest for preaching the gospel in the temple courts of Jerusalem.

The Sanhedrin told the apostles that they had ordered them "not to teach in this name," (v. 28) but the apostles replied, "We must obey God rather than human beings." (v. 29) The Sanhedrin grew frustrated and wanted to kill them, but a Pharisee named Gamaliel convinced them not to by saying,

"For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." (v. 38b-39 NIV)

The speech convinced the Sanhedrin not to kill the apostles, and they beat them and sent them on their way. The next couple verses are what really convict me.

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah." (v. 41-42 NIV)

The apostles were literally beaten and whipped for proclaiming the name of Jesus, yet they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the name of Jesus. Yet here I am, concerned about what people will think of me or how they will respond if I share the gospel with them.

Let me tell you some hard news. They gospel will offend people. The gospel convicts and brings out the bad in people. Nobody wants to see how bad they are. Nobody wants to know what they are doing wrong. BUT, the good news of Jesus and his mercy, forgiveness, and grace far surpass our nasty sin. Jesus' work on the cross was far more uncomfortable than the discomfort we could ever feel from sharing the gospel with those around us.

I have never heard a quote I hate more than, "Preach the gospel and if necessary, use words." Your actions are simply evidence that what you say about Jesus is real and true. However, nobody will ever come to the knowledge of Jesus' saving grace and what He did for us on the cross just by you having "good" actions or living a "good" life. Open your mouth! Speak the gospel! Share the good news!!

Christians, we are called to share the gospel with all nations. We are called to be a light so that salvation may reach to the ends of the earth. It starts with obedience.

We do not have a fear problem. We do not have a "lack of people to talk to" problem. We do not have a lack of knowledge problem. We do not have a communication problem. We have a disobedience problem. Not sharing the gospel is disobedience. That is all there is to it.

I encourage you and pray that you will seek obedience today. Who is God calling you to share with? God's purpose will never fail. (Acts 5:38)

Crushed, Pressed, Made New || 2019

At the beginning of the 2019, I was sitting in a cabin tucked in the woods outside of Troy, Alabama, listening to worship music and preparing for the year ahead with a group of campus ministry leaders. As I was listening and reflecting on the previous year, a song began to speak to my spirit.

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine

I felt God whisper to me, "what if 2019 is the year that a crush you and press you?" 

My initial thoughts were to be drowned by fear. After all, crushing and pressing were scary words. However, it was the promise of newness that followed those two words that I chose to dwell on.

Even with the promise of newness, there was still a tiny bit of fear that settled in my tummy. I knew that being made new would require change, something I despised.

As I kept praying and letting the words of this song ring through my heart and mind, the Lord reminded me of a passage from Exodus 17.

In verses 8-16, the Amalekites attack the Israelites. Moses commanded Joshua to choose some of his men to go and fight the Amalekites and claimed, "Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands." (v. 9)

Joshua did as Moses commanded and Moses went to the top of the hill with Aaron and Hur. As long as Moses held his hands up, the Israelites were winning, but when he put his hands down, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses got tired, Aaron and Hur put a stone under him for him to sit on and each held up one of his arms for him. They held his arms steady until the sunset, and verse 16 tells us, "Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword."

This passage served as the perfect reminder that we are not made to fight alone. Christian community is absolutely vital to our spiritual well-being. I knew that no matter what change, newness and pressing were going to come my way, there were people in my life who would be willing to stand beside me, lift me up, and usher in the newness God wanted to bring.

As you can imagine, the crushing and the pressing came, and with them came the pain of the ridding myself of the old. In fact, you cannot be made new until you let go and surrender the old.

My passions and desires began to change, my plans became void, and my relationships with some people were crumbling. It was hard...really hard. I had no idea what was happening, but the song reminded me,

When I trust you I don't need to understand.

At the time where I was being crushed and pressed the most, I was in Kenya serving my second summer with a ministry that is very near and dear to my heart, Camp BlueSky.

I went into my second summer with a lot of expectations for it to be similar to my first summer. (For context, read my blog post, "Worth It || Kenya-Summer 2018.") However, as the summer went on, it became clear to me that my second summer was going to be significantly different than the first.

While at camp, I was learning a lot about myself. I was learning about who Christ has called me to be and the plans He has set before me. There were passions and desires that I had previously had that were changing. The changes I was seeing were scary. Things I wanted and seen as part of my life, became insignificant.

Along with seeing changes in myself, I was working with very different kids than I did my first summer. Instead of having big professions of faith from the most unlikely sinners, I was discipling kids that grew up in church and had become sort of numb to the Gospel.

Through all this, I began to feel discouraged. I felt like there must be something "wrong" with me if God was not moving the way I expected Him too. Believing we have anything to do with people coming to salvation is a dangerous place to be. In a brief moment of self-pity, God humbled me and reminded me that what I was doing had nothing to do with me or what I could do, but everything to do with what the Holy Spirit, through me, could do.

Just because God is not working in the way we expect Him to, does not at all mean that He isn't working. We know that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Our only responsibility is to be obedient to the Great Commission, and to go wherever the Lord has called us to go, and to boldly proclaim His name. What happens from there is up to the sovreignty of God. All He asks is our obedience.

God also reminded me in this time that I was not meant to be fighting my battles alone. I needed an Aaron and a Hur to come and hold me up, and He was faithful to do that. So many people at camp were always there to uplift one another in prayer and encourage one another in the scriptures. I am always amazed at the family I find anywhere I go as part of the body of Christ.

When I left camp, I knew how important it would be for me to go back home and reconnect with spiritual family who would hold me accountable and be there to hold me when I could not hold myself. I am blessed to have many people who are willing to uplift me and always point me back to the feet of Jesus.

Fall semester was challenging, and did not come without its fair share of trials and hardships. However, with the things God had been teaching me. I was able draw near to Him and have people standing beside me to fight our spiritual battles together. My friends are fervent in prayer and abounding in wisdom and love for Christ.

It may have taken me a long time to learn and to realize what this year meant to me, but standing at the end looking back, I can see the newness Christ has brought into my life. The crushing and pressing were painful, uncomfortable, and hard. But without them, I would not be where I am today.

I am full of joy and life. The path may not be super clear, but I know that with the help of the amazing Christian community of family and friends God has given me, I can take one step at a time, and allow the Lord to direct my path.

I guess my point is this...there is a purpose in your pain. Do not try to do this life alone. Keep going. One step at a time. God is so good. He is so faithful. The newness that comes from the crushing and the pressing is worth the journey.

-Amy

An Explanation for Absence (Post Coming Soon!)

Wow, it has been a long time since I have written! I am writing a new article to post soon but I wanted to give a brief explanation for my absence before I just randomly throw new content at you.

My last post entitled, "Charge," was written just a few days before arriving in Kenya and was sharing what God was teaching me and speaking to me in that season.

When I left for Kenya, I continued writing weekly about the things God was doing in my life, as well as in the ministry I was working with. However, these writings never made it to my blog. I wanted to respect the privacy of the individuals I was with, as well as keep a level of intimacy within my personal relationship with God instead of feeling the need to share everything. Because of this desire, I only sent the writings via email to a small group of supporters who "held the rope" for me and interceded on my behalf all summer long. (If you still want to hear about my summer in Kenya, feel free to ask me, or let me know and I can forward my weekly updates to you.)

When I returned from Kenya, I was broken. I went in with expectations from my previous summer, and none of those expectations were met, at least not in the way I hoped for them to be. God was still the same God He was my first summer (and always has been and will be,) but I saw Him work in completely different ways, which at the time seemed like a lack of Him working and moving. It took me a while to finally understand the way He moved in my life and in the lives of others throughout the summer.

I was also broken not knowing if I would ever be back serving in Kenya. Leaving the people I had grown to love and consider family, as well as leaving a ministry I love without an anticipated return date was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, if not the hardest.

Because of this, I let myself process and just sit still in the presence of Jesus for a long time. A few months, really. I let Him work on me and I worked on myself at the same time.

During this time, my classes were picking up and I was taking a blogging class. This class required me to write 2-3 posts a week, so my writing focus shifted to that blog.

Now that I have made it through all of those things, I am ready and excited to write again! Stay tuned!

-Amy

Charge

It’s currently 5:30 am as I am writing this and I’ve been wide awake since 4:30. Today my fellow teammates are kicking off the first week of camp in Kenya and I’m not there yet. I cannot get them off my mind and I’ve been crying out in prayer over them and all the kids arriving today all morning. 

One thing I ask myself very often when I pray is, “what’s your word?” I strongly believe that part of having true and deep intimacy with God is being aware of what He is doing in your life. Asking myself what my “word” is, is simply just taking the question, “what is God teaching me?” and simplifying it to just one single word. This really pushes me to truly think hard and meditate on what God is doing in my heart.

This morning, my word is “charge.” As I have been lying here, my heart and mind keep going back to last summer on a night we referred to as, “cross talk.” This was a night where we took time to explicitly share the gospel in detail. As I walked in to worship my first week, I felt the Lord speaking to me, “charge, my girl.” It is a battle to reach lost souls. Sometimes battles seem scary and leave us feeling defeated before we have even walked in. But good news, friends. We may be batting, but the victory is already won in Christ Jesus. Charge. Take heart. March in with full confidence in your Savior. Share boldly. Share proudly. The gospel of Jesus deserves to be proclaimed in full confidence and assurance of the victory we have in Him. 

For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.-Deuteronomy 20:4

Charge is also a good word when it comes to taking care of our spirit. I’m sitting here charging my phone and thinking about what it means. (I’m studying journalism, so I tend to think in metaphors quite often. Haha) Last night as I was heading to bed, my phone was on 88%. I unplugged it from the charger and headed off to sleep. When I woke up at 4 am, not too many hours later, I was on 33%. Besides the fact that I might need a new phone, this reminded me of a lesson God taught me years ago. The second you unplug a phone from the charger, it starts dying. The battery slowly drains as the phone works to surf social media, Google answers, play music, and whatever else. In the same way, the second we step away from God’s Word, our spiritual “batteries” slowly start to drain. The more we pour out, the quicker our “battery life” goes. The good news is, we don’t have to stay on 0%, 33%, 88%, or even 99%. We have access to a recharge from Jesus through prayer and His word. In order to be an effective tool, we must learn to utilize these “chargers.” Not only that, but we must learn to love and cherish them-His word and open communication we have with Him through prayer. 

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.-Hebrews 11:6

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.-Jeremiah 29:13

                                    

                        

Camp Counselor Pro Tips

Last summer, I was a camp counselor at the best camp in the world - Camp BlueSky in Nairobi, Kenya. I fell in love with all things camp. The ministry, the fun, the competitions. But I especially fell in love with my kids. As I have been preparing for summer #2 with BlueSky, I have been thinking back on things I learned last summer about children's ministry in a camp context, and how to be a successful counselor. Here are some of my "pro" tips...

1. Relationships first-ALWAYS

When my girls are arriving and settling into camp, I make it my mission to give them the best first impression as possible. The first few minutes in the cabin are crucial when it comes to trust and respect. If the first thing they remember is a counselor fussing at them and being pushy, they will likely develop a disrespectful and resentful attitude. However, if you make them feel at home and just be their friend, things change. They listen to you, they care what you say, they respect your authority, and it just makes for a better week. One way I do this is by getting to know my campers. If they tell me their favorite song, I will sing it to them and dance like an idiot. If they tell me their favorite movie, we will talk about the plot. If they tell me about their family, I ask questions and show them pictures of mine. Being personal is always a good idea.

2. Give your undivided attention when possible

This is basically just reiterating my last point because again...relationships matter!! This one can be hard. When you are outnumbered 7 to1 or more, it is so easy to let your campers be just a number or just one of many. Campers' sense of belonging can radically impact the way they feel about their overall camp experience. So what are some practical ways to give undivided attention in a context where your attention can so easily be divided? Sit by a different child every meal and check in on their day, ask each of them what activity they enjoyed best, or sit and chat with them in the cabin while everyone else plays a game. One of my very favorite things I did last summer was what I referred to as "bedtime buddies." (Bonus tip: That's a totally lame and uncool title for pre-teens and teens, so don't let them know that's what you are calling it-lol.) During this time, I would walk around and sit by each campers' bed and have a  one-on-one conversation. I would ask them their favorite and least favorite part of the day, if they were having any conflicts, and what they learned. I had 4 goals with this: 1. let them know they are loved 2. try to resolve any conflicts and 3. send them to bed thinking of the day in a positive light (bedtime is when we often get caught up in negative emotions because we actually have time to sit and think) and 4. try to get their mind back on the Gospel-what is Jesus teaching me right now? Some of my most intimate conversations happened during this time.

3. It matters most at 3 am

One last tip along the relationship lines because I really, really just can't harp on it enough. I will be the first to say...I LOVE sleep. It is honestly so easy to get annoyed when you are up with a camper in the middle of the night but I promise this is when it matters most. Camp is literally 24 hour a day ministry. I had an instance last summer where a camper woke me up at 3 am because she was homesick. This was such a special time because I was able to sit with her, talk with her, and pray with her while the rest of the girls were sleeping. In another case, I had a girl wake me up around 2 am because she accidentally wet the bed. She was mortified and had tears streaming down her face. I assured her that everything was okay and I would take care of it. I let her sit down while I changed the sheets and got rid of the old ones. At the end of the week, she came to me before she left and thanked me for dealing with the incident privately, calming her down, and making sure everything was taking care of. A whole week of fun and that was the one thing she remembered. I truly believe that her entire experience would have been drastically different had I let my sleepiness drive me to anger and frustration.

4. If it needs to be done fast-make it a competition

There were so many times where I needed my campers to accomplish things quickly. Unfortunately, "fast" is not always in the vocabulary of young girls, and even if it is, they most definitely would not pair "fast" and "effective" together in a sentence. One thing I found that truly saved the day was making things that not only needed to been done in a timely way, but also done in the correct way a competition. If there was a prize on the line, my girls would almost always do what I asked of them. One of my biggest accomplishments last summer (and I am only half-way kidding) was getting 9 girls to shower in 25 minutes with only 2 showers. I had them start outside their bedroom door and once they tagged my hand, I started the stopwatch. They would run to the bathroom, shower, put their pajamas on, and run back to tag my hand. It was actually a really fun time that really built up the atmosphere in the cabin because you know...relationships. (Disclaimer: if you use this technique, be sure your kids understand that it only counts as a shower if they use soap. I was shocked that I even had to have this conversation.)

Ok, time for some more serious tips.

5. Pray and pray often

On the first day of camp, before my campers ever arrived, I always walked around to every bed, laid my hands on it, and prayed for the child that would be sleeping there. Before I even knew the name and the face that would occupy the space, they were prayed for. I prayed for Biblical understanding, safety, fun times, and strong relationships and I prayed against homesickness, fear, anxiety, bullying, distractions, and any other schemes of the enemy. It was imperative for me that I started my weeks like this and I made sure that this time of prayer was given the top priority on my list of things to accomplish for before my girls arrived. I also dedicated a day to prayer walk all around our campus before the camp sessions began. That day will forever be in my mind as one of the most special and significant days of my life. The Lord spoke so clearly to me that day and really prepared me for what was ahead. It was also important to me to pray throughout the day. If we were coming up on a Bible study time, I made sure I was praying for attention and understanding. If I could tell one of my girls was struggling, I would pray for that. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 instructs us to "pray without ceasing" and camp was where I truly learned and embraced the meaning and value of that scripture. The enemy fights hard, so we must fight harder.

6. You can never give enough grace

There is not a single instance from last summer that I look back on and think, "wow, I should have been a lot tougher on that kid." However, I can look back on a few and think, "I could've been a little bit more gracious or a little bit more patient." You will absolutely get tired. Camp is exhausting and kids have a crazy amount of energy. The campers are only there for a week, and you are probably there for a couple of months. But we have to give grace as freely as the Father has given it to us. They will not be perfect, and they may even drive you crazy at times. But how do we ultimately point people towards the Father? Imitate the Father. (Ephesians 5:1) Love like He did. Be gentle, be gracious, show mercy and compassion. We will never win souls for Christ if we live lives that are contrary to the gospel and His character.

Honestly, I could talk about camp all day long. I could think of tons of advice to give and tips to make things easier. But really all you need to remember is to value relationships, love like Jesus loved, let loose, and have the time of your life serving the One who gave His life for you.

Camp BlueSky, I am so ready for you.

Even Jesus Rested

Today I left three things unfinished on my daily to-do list...THREE!!

It was not until last semester that I discovered the benefits of having a daily to-do list. Before then, I relied on my memory to complete tasks and spent much more time napping or just laying in bed than I did being productive. Now, with classes getting busier, I obsess over my to-do list. One of my friends wrote, "Tell Trey he is cool" on it and I did it just for the pure satisfaction of marking it off. I keep myself so busy that I find myself in class while doing homework for another class, finishing assignments on my phone as I walk to my car, or staying up into early morning hours. While keeping a to-do list has kept me more on top of things and helped me keep my stress level to a minimum, I have become so consumed with crossing things off a list and being productive that I have neglected to give myself time to just be and to sit and rest.

This week God has placed a truth in my heart that I have not been able to shake. It is a constant thought and one I simply cannot push aside no matter how hard I try.

Even Jesus rested.

Let's look at one of my favorite stories from Mark 4.

35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I think Jesus probably left a lot on his "to-do" list that day. (Of course Jesus was perfect and so obviously He did what He was supposed to but just follow me for a second.) There were still more lessons that could have been taught. There were probably people who still needed healing and probably people with hungry tummies. But still, Jesus knew that He needed time to go and rest. 

Notice too that Jesus did not just stop to rest when it was convenient. He literally rested in the middle of a storm. A time of rest might not always be convenient, but it will always be necessary. It is also important to note that even Christian fellowship is not a replacement for rest in Christ. Jesus was with his disciples. He could have sat and talked, socialized, or played a game of Phase 10, but instead He chose alone time in the stern. I try to always remind myself there is a difference in good things and God things. We might seem to be doing everything right. We are with good Christian company, involved in a church and in a ministry, pouring into others, but yet we still have everything wrong. Without time to rest in Christ, we are unable to gain the Spiritual energy we need in order to live and love like Jesus did.

So today I didn't finish my to-do list. Instead, I took a nap with my dog, I took some time to fellowship with friends, and most importantly I spent some extra time in the Word and didn't rush so I could move to the next task. I rested.

Eugene Peterson says, "Busyness is an illness of the spirit." Let's pray for healing from this illness and restoration from Jesus, our source of rest.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."-Matthew 11:28

-Amy

10,000 Reasons

November 18, 2014. An exciting time in my life. 3 days before, my team had won our first state championship, Thanksgiving was only a little over a week away, Christmas was quickly approaching, and life was good. All of those things came to a halt around 3 am when my mom woke me up and informed me that we had to get to the hospital because my sweet Aunt Marsha was not expected to make it through the day.

I got in the car and I remember feeling numb. What emotions was I supposed to be feeling? What was I going to see when I got to the hospital? How different would life be at the end of the day? So many questions, but not a single answer. I plugged in my headphones and shuffled my worship playlist on my phone. I will never forget the first song that played on my phone. 10,000 Reasons. 

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.

Those lyrics were different then than they had ever been before. This time I actually was not sure what the lied before me. I was not sure if I would want to be singing when the evening came. But even still I could say, Bless the Lord oh my soul. 

When we arrived at the hospital, we walked in the room to find my family members all very solemn, a very rare sight for the Lowe family. We spent the day standing around my aunt's bed with worship music playing. Together we sang song after song, and even as we were watching her condition worsen, there was a peace that filled the room, and truly we were singing when the evening came.


And on that day when my strength is failing, the end draws near and my time has come, still my soul will sing Your praise unending, 10,000 years and then forever more.

Shortly before my aunt lost consciousness, one of my family members was sitting beside her and noticed that she seemed to be whispering. When she moved closer to hear what she was saying, she realized she was trying to sing. "His Grace is Enough" was slowly coming from her lips. On this earth, she was a worshipper, but I can only imagine what it must have been like to enter into Heaven with a song of praise that will never end for all eternity. Truly His grace is enough for us.

That day, 10,000 Reasons became so real to me because I realized that even at the end of our darkest days, we can still find joy and hope in singing praises to our Creator. And even when our strength is literally failing and time has come to only minutes, God is still worthy to be worshipped, and He is still good.

Heaven is so real, and eternity is so much closer than we could ever imagine. While we await that day, I pray that we would be worshippers on this earth that never cease to bring praise to the One who is worthy, even if it is with our final breath.

But it is we who will bless the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Praise the Lord!-Psalm 115:18

-Amy

Worth It || Kenya-Summer 2018

"Worth it."

   This was the very first thought that popped into my head as the wheels of flight 1588 touched the ground in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Exactly 141 days before, I was sitting in a hotel room in New York City, reluctantly putting in an application for summer missions overseas. This came as a response to a small group I attended where we walked through Psalm 90 and focused in on verse 12 which says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." With a heavy heart, I wrote myself a note in my Bible that said, "Don't waste your life, kid."

   I can say very confidently, this summer was not a waste. At debrief, I was asked to summarize my whole summer in one sentence. To me, this seemed impossible. 8 weeks in one sentence? No way. But as I thought back over each and every person I met, only one sentence came to mind.

   One night, I was woken up at 3 am to one of my girls crying very loudly. I walked over to her bed and asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I am just very homesick." I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down and praying over her. The next day, I messaged my parents and told them how much I saw myself in her. 10 years ago, I was a very different person. I struggled with extreme separation anxiety, and rarely left home. At one point, I decided to go to summer camp, but spent every night crying while my counselor sat beside my bed and did her best to comfort me. If you would have told me then that 10 years later the roles would be reversed and I would be doing the same thing for one of my campers 8,200 miles away from home, I would have said you were crazy. But God is so faithful to take our circumstances, grow us, and use us as part of His perfect plan for His glory. When I told my parents this story, my dad replied, "God can literally use anybody." And that sentence can easily summarize my whole summer.

   When my team arrived back at Camp BlueSky after 2 weeks of traveling, (check out my Tune My Heart blog for more on that) I settled into my new home and spent a few days preparing for my first cabin. That week, I was assigned to 9 Satima girls which are 10 and 11 year olds. As each one arrived at camp, they each brought something special. Sass, kindness, humor, intelligence, and energy just to name a few. It did not take me very long to find myself loving each one of them deeply, but one girl in particular stole my heart. Let's just call her Katie for now.  From the moment Katie walked into Cottage F, I knew she was something special.

   Every night as I sent my girls to bed, I would take a few minutes to go around to each one of them one on one and ask them about their day. I referred to this time as "bedtime buddies." The second night, as I got to Katie's bed, I asked her what she had learned that day. She responded, "I learned that Jesus loves me and He is real." She continued to tell me that she comes from an atheist home, and she did not want to be like her parents. "I really like Christianity," she told me. I was so encouraged by this conversation, and could hardly wait to continue pouring into her the rest of the week.

   Every Wednesday night at BlueSky, we have "cross talk." The kids are consistently exposed to the gospel multiple times every day at camp, but Wednesday night is the night we explicitly explain it and walk through the scriptures of Jesus' death and resurrection. When we finish, we take all the campers out to an open field and let them lay down under the stars and spend some time thinking and praying about the things they feel the Lord speaking to them. As my girls were laying there, my co-counselor and I (shoutout to Kirsten, what a champ!) walked around and spent a few minutes with each of our girls individually. When we got to Katie, we sat down and asked her what was on her mind. She replied, "I am just confused." When I asked her what she was confused about, she replied, "Not Jesus, I know He is real." My heart almost exploded. Kirsten and I continued to ask her questions and after a few minutes, she told us that she wanted to accept Jesus into her heart. Praise God!

   Later that night, Kirsten and I got to give Katie her very first Bible. We wrote her a couple notes with prayers and encouragement, and the smile that came across her face was a smile I will never forget. The next night, as we sat down for our cabin devotion time, we got on the topic of creation. I was about to start walking through the story when Katie quickly spoke up. "Let me tell them!! I read it today." Without hesitation, Katie walked the cabin through the whole story of creation, almost word for word. She told me that she had spent her whole rest time reading through Genesis. What a blessing to see a child so passionate about the Word and sharing it with others, even when she had only been a Christian for a day.

   The next week, I moved down to the Suswa age group. I had 8 girls ages 7-9, and I was blessed with another wonderful co-counselor that week. (*claps for Hannah*) When my girls started arriving in the cabin, I could tell it was going to be another wonderful week, but it was also evident that the week would come with many challenges. One of my girls, let's call her Sally, came in and very quickly announced, "I am not religious!" We continued on with our day, and I did my best to point every one of my girls to Jesus in every situation. That night, as we sat down for our cabin rewind/devotion time, Sally saw my Bible in front of me, and questioned, "Is that a Bible?!?!" I replied and told her it was, and again repeated, "I am not religious!!" I explained to her that we were at a Christian camp so we would be reading it anyways. When I got to Sally during bedtime buddies, I asked her what she had learned and she said, "Well, I will tell you this...next summer I am coming back, but I am going to make sure to bring a Bible because tonight I learned how important it is." I explained to her that she did not have to wait a whole year and that I could give her a Bible the very next day, and that is exactly what I did.

   From the moment Hannah and I gave Sally her Bible, she would not put it down. She read during rest time, during dinner, and at bedtime. She read for so long that we had to practically force her to go to sleep. How incredible is it that less than 24 hours after she had announced that she was "not religious," she was reading her Bible constantly?! Only Jesus.

   Wednesday night as we were getting ready for cross talk, I was so excited to see how Sally would respond. I could hardly wait to sit with her and see where she was at. As our conversation went longer and longer, it just seemed as if Sally was getting more and more confused about who Jesus is and what He has done for us. I walked into the conversation so confident, yet walked away so discouraged. I had to remind myself that it is never me that saves people. Jesus is the only one who has the power to save, and it is only our job to be a tool in His tool belt and be faithful to share with those He puts in our path. Everything in me was saying to give up on her, but the Lord reminded me that if He has not given up on her, neither should I. We continued to pour into Sally the rest of the week, and had so many people praying for her.

   Friday morning, I had the incredible opportunity to speak at Jr. Camp Empower. This was a time where the two youngest age groups, boys and girls, came together for a morning worship time. Thursday night, I hardly slept. I spent a while sitting on my porch walking through the scripture I was going to share and taking notes. When I finally got in bed to try to sleep, I woke up several times during the night and just could not rest. I even had a dream that I got up to speak and forgot everything I was supposed to share. Every time I would wake up, I would pray that the Lord would give me the words to say.
   When I got to breakfast the next morning, I went up to one of BlueSky's amazing leaders, and asked her to pray for me. I told her about my restless night and how I was not sure why, but I was incredibly nervous to speak. She looked at me and said, "Something good is about to happen." About an hour later, I spoke about Simon Peter and how he denied Jesus 3 times. When Jesus was resurrected, He reinstated Simon Peter by asking Him 3 times, "Simon Peter, do you love me?" The next night, Sally came up to me during a prayer time and she said to me, "Amy, tonight I heard a voice in my head. The voice said, 'Sally, do you love me?' and I told the voice yes." I then explained to her that it wasn't just a voice that she heard in her head, it was Jesus. I asked her if she believed Jesus was real, and that everything she had been reading in her Bible was true. It was like she turned into a preacher. She started stomping back and forth and exclaiming things about Jesus and His character. "Nobody else could do what Your God does!" Sally then asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing!

   There is so much I could tell you about people God chose to use this summer and the way He revealed Himself to me and strengthened my faith. We could talk about perspective, about growth, about all the amazing things BlueSky has to offer, about how many kids we saw come to faith in Christ this summer, and so much more. But here is the gist of everything I could tell you...do not be afraid to follow the Lord and pursue the callings He places over your life. He can literally use anybody, even you. He can use your brokenness, He can use your doubt, He can use you mess-ups, your discouragements, your highs, and your lows. And I can promise you this...it will be worth it. Every. Single. Time. He is so so faithful, and He will never stop pursuing us.

   If you would like to know more about all the incredible things the Lord did this summer, please do not hesitate to message me. I could talk for hours!!

   Thank you so much to each and every one of you that supported me both financially and in prayer. Your encouragement and support meant the world, and I could not have made it through the summer without you all. I cannot wait to share the next adventure the Lord takes me on, and as I said last year when I returned home from NYC,

Until everyone sees.
Until everyone hears.
Until everyone knows.
Send me.

-Amy