When I finally got back to my apartment at 11:00 tonight after being up since 7:00 am, the very first thought that came to my head as I opened my front door was, "Wow, I am a failure." I haven't been there for some people as much as I should have been, I have finals starting next week and I haven't studied for a single one, I have slacked off with my intentionality, literally every screw up I have ever felt hit me at once.
When I opened my bedroom door, things didn't get any better. My clothes where everywhere from where I had attempted to unpack from the break and ended up making a bigger mess, I had incomplete assignments sitting on my desk, I knocked over my garbage, and my cup was still sitting on my desk from lunch. My next thought, "why is my life so messy??" My room is a mess, my life is a mess, my sleep schedule is a mess, 6 days out of 7 my hair is a mess, and my bed is now a mess because I just spilled Emergen-C in it while I was trying to type this. (Oh yeah, my immune system is kind of a mess right now too.)
After a moment of panic, I had a thought. "I bet the cross was kinda messy." I think sometimes I just look at the cross and think of its beauty because the cross brought forgiveness and allows for an eternity with Christ and I forget how big of a price it was that Jesus had to pay. It was not pretty. It was bloody, it was gory, it was painful. The good news though is that the cross was not a failure. Because of the cross, my life does not have to be a mess, because Jesus died the death I deserve and took away every sin, every failure, and all of my pain.
Here is some more good news: because Jesus took all of our sins and failures upon Himself on the cross, it is never too late to run back to Him and we are never too far gone. If He can cause the walls of Jericho to fall, He can break the chains that bind you. If He can raise Lazarus from the dead, He can breathe new life into you. If He can calm a raging storm, He can calm your heart. However, Jesus is the only one who can fix it because He already took care of it when He bore the cross. My life felt like it was falling apart today because I tried to fix it on my own. Earthly matters require a heavenly response. Talk to the Father. Ask Him for help. Tell Him you need Him, because you do.
Listen to what the parable of the wandering sheep in Matthew 18:12-14 says, "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wonders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." He wants you. It is time to run back to the Shepherd.
-Amy
Monday, November 27, 2017
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Pizza and a Parking Spot
You wanna know the character of the Father? Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.
He. Will. Do. It.
Almost a month ago, I went on a retreat that changed my heart in the best ways. One thing I learned was that I had this view of the Father that was all wrong. I had this fear that any little thing I did would cause Him to snap and I would have to face His anger, or He would just stop caring about me. I constantly lived my life tiptoeing around and trying not to mess up. In fact, I think I avoided Him.
Once my eyes were opened to this, I began to see Him for who He truly is. He is loving. He is compassionate. He is patient. And one of my favorite things: His grace will never run out.
I don't have to live in fear of Him or in fear that He will leave.
For the past few weeks, it's almost like He's been saying, "Hey, watch this. I'll show you my goodness." He has shown Himself to me in so many tiny ways that might seem silly to everyone else, but to me it's so beautiful.
The other day, Trace and I were talking about the Father and how great He is. When it was time for me to head back to my residence hall, I made a comment about how I was really hoping I would get a good parking spot so I didn't have to walk very far. Trace said, "You will." I got back to the lovely Rice Hall and there was a parking spot right behind the building. I texted Trace and told him and he said, "Dad saved it for you!" I truly believe that. He looks out for His children, y'all!!
The day after that, I was sitting in class when I got a text from my youth group back home about it being game night. I texted my sister and said, "I could smash some pizza right now." That night I went to church in Starkville and guess what was for dinner? Pizza. At that point I had forgotten I even said anything earlier that day. I got my pizza and went to sit down and someone said to me, "yeah girl, smash that pizza." My. exact. words. When it hit me I was almost in tears. Over pizza. I was just so in awe that the God who created the universe cares enough to listen to my silly wishes.
I say all this just as a reminder that He does listen and He cares for His children. I've been in the place where you think you don't hear God's voice. You just have to pay attention!! He is constantly speaking, even if you think it might be small or silly. Take the time to really tune your ear to His voice and learn how He speaks. He might just show you how good He is through pizza and a parking spot.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever." -Psalm 107:1
-Bekah
He. Will. Do. It.
Almost a month ago, I went on a retreat that changed my heart in the best ways. One thing I learned was that I had this view of the Father that was all wrong. I had this fear that any little thing I did would cause Him to snap and I would have to face His anger, or He would just stop caring about me. I constantly lived my life tiptoeing around and trying not to mess up. In fact, I think I avoided Him.
Once my eyes were opened to this, I began to see Him for who He truly is. He is loving. He is compassionate. He is patient. And one of my favorite things: His grace will never run out.
I don't have to live in fear of Him or in fear that He will leave.
For the past few weeks, it's almost like He's been saying, "Hey, watch this. I'll show you my goodness." He has shown Himself to me in so many tiny ways that might seem silly to everyone else, but to me it's so beautiful.
The other day, Trace and I were talking about the Father and how great He is. When it was time for me to head back to my residence hall, I made a comment about how I was really hoping I would get a good parking spot so I didn't have to walk very far. Trace said, "You will." I got back to the lovely Rice Hall and there was a parking spot right behind the building. I texted Trace and told him and he said, "Dad saved it for you!" I truly believe that. He looks out for His children, y'all!!
The day after that, I was sitting in class when I got a text from my youth group back home about it being game night. I texted my sister and said, "I could smash some pizza right now." That night I went to church in Starkville and guess what was for dinner? Pizza. At that point I had forgotten I even said anything earlier that day. I got my pizza and went to sit down and someone said to me, "yeah girl, smash that pizza." My. exact. words. When it hit me I was almost in tears. Over pizza. I was just so in awe that the God who created the universe cares enough to listen to my silly wishes.
I say all this just as a reminder that He does listen and He cares for His children. I've been in the place where you think you don't hear God's voice. You just have to pay attention!! He is constantly speaking, even if you think it might be small or silly. Take the time to really tune your ear to His voice and learn how He speaks. He might just show you how good He is through pizza and a parking spot.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever." -Psalm 107:1
-Bekah
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