November 18, 2014. An exciting time in my life. 3 days before, my team had won our first state championship, Thanksgiving was only a little over a week away, Christmas was quickly approaching, and life was good. All of those things came to a halt around 3 am when my mom woke me up and informed me that we had to get to the hospital because my sweet Aunt Marsha was not expected to make it through the day.
I got in the car and I remember feeling numb. What emotions was I supposed to be feeling? What was I going to see when I got to the hospital? How different would life be at the end of the day? So many questions, but not a single answer. I plugged in my headphones and shuffled my worship playlist on my phone. I will never forget the first song that played on my phone. 10,000 Reasons.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.
Those lyrics were different then than they had ever been before. This time I actually was not sure what the lied before me. I was not sure if I would want to be singing when the evening came. But even still I could say, Bless the Lord oh my soul.
When we arrived at the hospital, we walked in the room to find my family members all very solemn, a very rare sight for the Lowe family. We spent the day standing around my aunt's bed with worship music playing. Together we sang song after song, and even as we were watching her condition worsen, there was a peace that filled the room, and truly we were singing when the evening came.
And on that day when my strength is failing, the end draws near and my time has come, still my soul will sing Your praise unending, 10,000 years and then forever more.
Shortly before my aunt lost consciousness, one of my family members was sitting beside her and noticed that she seemed to be whispering. When she moved closer to hear what she was saying, she realized she was trying to sing. "His Grace is Enough" was slowly coming from her lips. On this earth, she was a worshipper, but I can only imagine what it must have been like to enter into Heaven with a song of praise that will never end for all eternity. Truly His grace is enough for us.
That day, 10,000 Reasons became so real to me because I realized that even at the end of our darkest days, we can still find joy and hope in singing praises to our Creator. And even when our strength is literally failing and time has come to only minutes, God is still worthy to be worshipped, and He is still good.
Heaven is so real, and eternity is so much closer than we could ever imagine. While we await that day, I pray that we would be worshippers on this earth that never cease to bring praise to the One who is worthy, even if it is with our final breath.
But it is we who will bless the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Praise the Lord!-Psalm 115:18
-Amy
Thursday, November 8, 2018
Friday, August 31, 2018
Worth It || Kenya-Summer 2018
"Worth it."
This was the very first thought that popped into my head as the wheels of flight 1588 touched the ground in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Exactly 141 days before, I was sitting in a hotel room in New York City, reluctantly putting in an application for summer missions overseas. This came as a response to a small group I attended where we walked through Psalm 90 and focused in on verse 12 which says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." With a heavy heart, I wrote myself a note in my Bible that said, "Don't waste your life, kid."
I can say very confidently, this summer was not a waste. At debrief, I was asked to summarize my whole summer in one sentence. To me, this seemed impossible. 8 weeks in one sentence? No way. But as I thought back over each and every person I met, only one sentence came to mind.
One night, I was woken up at 3 am to one of my girls crying very loudly. I walked over to her bed and asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I am just very homesick." I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down and praying over her. The next day, I messaged my parents and told them how much I saw myself in her. 10 years ago, I was a very different person. I struggled with extreme separation anxiety, and rarely left home. At one point, I decided to go to summer camp, but spent every night crying while my counselor sat beside my bed and did her best to comfort me. If you would have told me then that 10 years later the roles would be reversed and I would be doing the same thing for one of my campers 8,200 miles away from home, I would have said you were crazy. But God is so faithful to take our circumstances, grow us, and use us as part of His perfect plan for His glory. When I told my parents this story, my dad replied, "God can literally use anybody." And that sentence can easily summarize my whole summer.
When my team arrived back at Camp BlueSky after 2 weeks of traveling, (check out my Tune My Heart blog for more on that) I settled into my new home and spent a few days preparing for my first cabin. That week, I was assigned to 9 Satima girls which are 10 and 11 year olds. As each one arrived at camp, they each brought something special. Sass, kindness, humor, intelligence, and energy just to name a few. It did not take me very long to find myself loving each one of them deeply, but one girl in particular stole my heart. Let's just call her Katie for now. From the moment Katie walked into Cottage F, I knew she was something special.
Every night as I sent my girls to bed, I would take a few minutes to go around to each one of them one on one and ask them about their day. I referred to this time as "bedtime buddies." The second night, as I got to Katie's bed, I asked her what she had learned that day. She responded, "I learned that Jesus loves me and He is real." She continued to tell me that she comes from an atheist home, and she did not want to be like her parents. "I really like Christianity," she told me. I was so encouraged by this conversation, and could hardly wait to continue pouring into her the rest of the week.
Every Wednesday night at BlueSky, we have "cross talk." The kids are consistently exposed to the gospel multiple times every day at camp, but Wednesday night is the night we explicitly explain it and walk through the scriptures of Jesus' death and resurrection. When we finish, we take all the campers out to an open field and let them lay down under the stars and spend some time thinking and praying about the things they feel the Lord speaking to them. As my girls were laying there, my co-counselor and I (shoutout to Kirsten, what a champ!) walked around and spent a few minutes with each of our girls individually. When we got to Katie, we sat down and asked her what was on her mind. She replied, "I am just confused." When I asked her what she was confused about, she replied, "Not Jesus, I know He is real." My heart almost exploded. Kirsten and I continued to ask her questions and after a few minutes, she told us that she wanted to accept Jesus into her heart. Praise God!
Later that night, Kirsten and I got to give Katie her very first Bible. We wrote her a couple notes with prayers and encouragement, and the smile that came across her face was a smile I will never forget. The next night, as we sat down for our cabin devotion time, we got on the topic of creation. I was about to start walking through the story when Katie quickly spoke up. "Let me tell them!! I read it today." Without hesitation, Katie walked the cabin through the whole story of creation, almost word for word. She told me that she had spent her whole rest time reading through Genesis. What a blessing to see a child so passionate about the Word and sharing it with others, even when she had only been a Christian for a day.
The next week, I moved down to the Suswa age group. I had 8 girls ages 7-9, and I was blessed with another wonderful co-counselor that week. (*claps for Hannah*) When my girls started arriving in the cabin, I could tell it was going to be another wonderful week, but it was also evident that the week would come with many challenges. One of my girls, let's call her Sally, came in and very quickly announced, "I am not religious!" We continued on with our day, and I did my best to point every one of my girls to Jesus in every situation. That night, as we sat down for our cabin rewind/devotion time, Sally saw my Bible in front of me, and questioned, "Is that a Bible?!?!" I replied and told her it was, and again repeated, "I am not religious!!" I explained to her that we were at a Christian camp so we would be reading it anyways. When I got to Sally during bedtime buddies, I asked her what she had learned and she said, "Well, I will tell you this...next summer I am coming back, but I am going to make sure to bring a Bible because tonight I learned how important it is." I explained to her that she did not have to wait a whole year and that I could give her a Bible the very next day, and that is exactly what I did.
From the moment Hannah and I gave Sally her Bible, she would not put it down. She read during rest time, during dinner, and at bedtime. She read for so long that we had to practically force her to go to sleep. How incredible is it that less than 24 hours after she had announced that she was "not religious," she was reading her Bible constantly?! Only Jesus.
Wednesday night as we were getting ready for cross talk, I was so excited to see how Sally would respond. I could hardly wait to sit with her and see where she was at. As our conversation went longer and longer, it just seemed as if Sally was getting more and more confused about who Jesus is and what He has done for us. I walked into the conversation so confident, yet walked away so discouraged. I had to remind myself that it is never me that saves people. Jesus is the only one who has the power to save, and it is only our job to be a tool in His tool belt and be faithful to share with those He puts in our path. Everything in me was saying to give up on her, but the Lord reminded me that if He has not given up on her, neither should I. We continued to pour into Sally the rest of the week, and had so many people praying for her.
Friday morning, I had the incredible opportunity to speak at Jr. Camp Empower. This was a time where the two youngest age groups, boys and girls, came together for a morning worship time. Thursday night, I hardly slept. I spent a while sitting on my porch walking through the scripture I was going to share and taking notes. When I finally got in bed to try to sleep, I woke up several times during the night and just could not rest. I even had a dream that I got up to speak and forgot everything I was supposed to share. Every time I would wake up, I would pray that the Lord would give me the words to say.
When I got to breakfast the next morning, I went up to one of BlueSky's amazing leaders, and asked her to pray for me. I told her about my restless night and how I was not sure why, but I was incredibly nervous to speak. She looked at me and said, "Something good is about to happen." About an hour later, I spoke about Simon Peter and how he denied Jesus 3 times. When Jesus was resurrected, He reinstated Simon Peter by asking Him 3 times, "Simon Peter, do you love me?" The next night, Sally came up to me during a prayer time and she said to me, "Amy, tonight I heard a voice in my head. The voice said, 'Sally, do you love me?' and I told the voice yes." I then explained to her that it wasn't just a voice that she heard in her head, it was Jesus. I asked her if she believed Jesus was real, and that everything she had been reading in her Bible was true. It was like she turned into a preacher. She started stomping back and forth and exclaiming things about Jesus and His character. "Nobody else could do what Your God does!" Sally then asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing!
There is so much I could tell you about people God chose to use this summer and the way He revealed Himself to me and strengthened my faith. We could talk about perspective, about growth, about all the amazing things BlueSky has to offer, about how many kids we saw come to faith in Christ this summer, and so much more. But here is the gist of everything I could tell you...do not be afraid to follow the Lord and pursue the callings He places over your life. He can literally use anybody, even you. He can use your brokenness, He can use your doubt, He can use you mess-ups, your discouragements, your highs, and your lows. And I can promise you this...it will be worth it. Every. Single. Time. He is so so faithful, and He will never stop pursuing us.
If you would like to know more about all the incredible things the Lord did this summer, please do not hesitate to message me. I could talk for hours!!
Thank you so much to each and every one of you that supported me both financially and in prayer. Your encouragement and support meant the world, and I could not have made it through the summer without you all. I cannot wait to share the next adventure the Lord takes me on, and as I said last year when I returned home from NYC,
Until everyone sees.
Until everyone hears.
Until everyone knows.
Send me.
-Amy
This was the very first thought that popped into my head as the wheels of flight 1588 touched the ground in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Exactly 141 days before, I was sitting in a hotel room in New York City, reluctantly putting in an application for summer missions overseas. This came as a response to a small group I attended where we walked through Psalm 90 and focused in on verse 12 which says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." With a heavy heart, I wrote myself a note in my Bible that said, "Don't waste your life, kid."
I can say very confidently, this summer was not a waste. At debrief, I was asked to summarize my whole summer in one sentence. To me, this seemed impossible. 8 weeks in one sentence? No way. But as I thought back over each and every person I met, only one sentence came to mind.
One night, I was woken up at 3 am to one of my girls crying very loudly. I walked over to her bed and asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I am just very homesick." I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down and praying over her. The next day, I messaged my parents and told them how much I saw myself in her. 10 years ago, I was a very different person. I struggled with extreme separation anxiety, and rarely left home. At one point, I decided to go to summer camp, but spent every night crying while my counselor sat beside my bed and did her best to comfort me. If you would have told me then that 10 years later the roles would be reversed and I would be doing the same thing for one of my campers 8,200 miles away from home, I would have said you were crazy. But God is so faithful to take our circumstances, grow us, and use us as part of His perfect plan for His glory. When I told my parents this story, my dad replied, "God can literally use anybody." And that sentence can easily summarize my whole summer.
When my team arrived back at Camp BlueSky after 2 weeks of traveling, (check out my Tune My Heart blog for more on that) I settled into my new home and spent a few days preparing for my first cabin. That week, I was assigned to 9 Satima girls which are 10 and 11 year olds. As each one arrived at camp, they each brought something special. Sass, kindness, humor, intelligence, and energy just to name a few. It did not take me very long to find myself loving each one of them deeply, but one girl in particular stole my heart. Let's just call her Katie for now. From the moment Katie walked into Cottage F, I knew she was something special.
Every night as I sent my girls to bed, I would take a few minutes to go around to each one of them one on one and ask them about their day. I referred to this time as "bedtime buddies." The second night, as I got to Katie's bed, I asked her what she had learned that day. She responded, "I learned that Jesus loves me and He is real." She continued to tell me that she comes from an atheist home, and she did not want to be like her parents. "I really like Christianity," she told me. I was so encouraged by this conversation, and could hardly wait to continue pouring into her the rest of the week.
Every Wednesday night at BlueSky, we have "cross talk." The kids are consistently exposed to the gospel multiple times every day at camp, but Wednesday night is the night we explicitly explain it and walk through the scriptures of Jesus' death and resurrection. When we finish, we take all the campers out to an open field and let them lay down under the stars and spend some time thinking and praying about the things they feel the Lord speaking to them. As my girls were laying there, my co-counselor and I (shoutout to Kirsten, what a champ!) walked around and spent a few minutes with each of our girls individually. When we got to Katie, we sat down and asked her what was on her mind. She replied, "I am just confused." When I asked her what she was confused about, she replied, "Not Jesus, I know He is real." My heart almost exploded. Kirsten and I continued to ask her questions and after a few minutes, she told us that she wanted to accept Jesus into her heart. Praise God!
Later that night, Kirsten and I got to give Katie her very first Bible. We wrote her a couple notes with prayers and encouragement, and the smile that came across her face was a smile I will never forget. The next night, as we sat down for our cabin devotion time, we got on the topic of creation. I was about to start walking through the story when Katie quickly spoke up. "Let me tell them!! I read it today." Without hesitation, Katie walked the cabin through the whole story of creation, almost word for word. She told me that she had spent her whole rest time reading through Genesis. What a blessing to see a child so passionate about the Word and sharing it with others, even when she had only been a Christian for a day.
The next week, I moved down to the Suswa age group. I had 8 girls ages 7-9, and I was blessed with another wonderful co-counselor that week. (*claps for Hannah*) When my girls started arriving in the cabin, I could tell it was going to be another wonderful week, but it was also evident that the week would come with many challenges. One of my girls, let's call her Sally, came in and very quickly announced, "I am not religious!" We continued on with our day, and I did my best to point every one of my girls to Jesus in every situation. That night, as we sat down for our cabin rewind/devotion time, Sally saw my Bible in front of me, and questioned, "Is that a Bible?!?!" I replied and told her it was, and again repeated, "I am not religious!!" I explained to her that we were at a Christian camp so we would be reading it anyways. When I got to Sally during bedtime buddies, I asked her what she had learned and she said, "Well, I will tell you this...next summer I am coming back, but I am going to make sure to bring a Bible because tonight I learned how important it is." I explained to her that she did not have to wait a whole year and that I could give her a Bible the very next day, and that is exactly what I did.
From the moment Hannah and I gave Sally her Bible, she would not put it down. She read during rest time, during dinner, and at bedtime. She read for so long that we had to practically force her to go to sleep. How incredible is it that less than 24 hours after she had announced that she was "not religious," she was reading her Bible constantly?! Only Jesus.
Wednesday night as we were getting ready for cross talk, I was so excited to see how Sally would respond. I could hardly wait to sit with her and see where she was at. As our conversation went longer and longer, it just seemed as if Sally was getting more and more confused about who Jesus is and what He has done for us. I walked into the conversation so confident, yet walked away so discouraged. I had to remind myself that it is never me that saves people. Jesus is the only one who has the power to save, and it is only our job to be a tool in His tool belt and be faithful to share with those He puts in our path. Everything in me was saying to give up on her, but the Lord reminded me that if He has not given up on her, neither should I. We continued to pour into Sally the rest of the week, and had so many people praying for her.
Friday morning, I had the incredible opportunity to speak at Jr. Camp Empower. This was a time where the two youngest age groups, boys and girls, came together for a morning worship time. Thursday night, I hardly slept. I spent a while sitting on my porch walking through the scripture I was going to share and taking notes. When I finally got in bed to try to sleep, I woke up several times during the night and just could not rest. I even had a dream that I got up to speak and forgot everything I was supposed to share. Every time I would wake up, I would pray that the Lord would give me the words to say.
When I got to breakfast the next morning, I went up to one of BlueSky's amazing leaders, and asked her to pray for me. I told her about my restless night and how I was not sure why, but I was incredibly nervous to speak. She looked at me and said, "Something good is about to happen." About an hour later, I spoke about Simon Peter and how he denied Jesus 3 times. When Jesus was resurrected, He reinstated Simon Peter by asking Him 3 times, "Simon Peter, do you love me?" The next night, Sally came up to me during a prayer time and she said to me, "Amy, tonight I heard a voice in my head. The voice said, 'Sally, do you love me?' and I told the voice yes." I then explained to her that it wasn't just a voice that she heard in her head, it was Jesus. I asked her if she believed Jesus was real, and that everything she had been reading in her Bible was true. It was like she turned into a preacher. She started stomping back and forth and exclaiming things about Jesus and His character. "Nobody else could do what Your God does!" Sally then asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing!
There is so much I could tell you about people God chose to use this summer and the way He revealed Himself to me and strengthened my faith. We could talk about perspective, about growth, about all the amazing things BlueSky has to offer, about how many kids we saw come to faith in Christ this summer, and so much more. But here is the gist of everything I could tell you...do not be afraid to follow the Lord and pursue the callings He places over your life. He can literally use anybody, even you. He can use your brokenness, He can use your doubt, He can use you mess-ups, your discouragements, your highs, and your lows. And I can promise you this...it will be worth it. Every. Single. Time. He is so so faithful, and He will never stop pursuing us.
If you would like to know more about all the incredible things the Lord did this summer, please do not hesitate to message me. I could talk for hours!!
Thank you so much to each and every one of you that supported me both financially and in prayer. Your encouragement and support meant the world, and I could not have made it through the summer without you all. I cannot wait to share the next adventure the Lord takes me on, and as I said last year when I returned home from NYC,
Until everyone sees.
Until everyone hears.
Until everyone knows.
Send me.
-Amy
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Tune My Heart
The concert is beginning in 15 minutes. The director stands in front of the band and prepares them for what is to come...the big performance. But first, he takes a moment to have each player tune their instrument. A push here, a pull, a twist there, and the instrument is ready to make beautiful music. Without that proper alignment beforehand, the concert would be a little flat and a little less beautiful.
Two weeks ago, I sat down in the floor for a time of worship with 20 new faces. As we were about to begin, the worship leader got up and moved to a separate room, urging us to spend a moment in prayer while he tuned his guitar. I asked God, "Lord what does it mean to be tuned?"
I think it is absolutely amazing how God prepares us before hand for the things we will experience. Much like the band director, he meets us face to face and refines our hearts and renews our spirits. This tuning isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it requires a push, a pull, a twist. Sometimes we have to let go of things, or be thrown into situations that we do not understand. But in the end, as we take a deep breath and breathe into the instruments God has given us, all the refining comes out in a beautiful song. A song that magnifies and glorifies the Lord. A song that makes His name known among the nations.
I saw the way the Lord tuned my heart a week ago to prepare me for the days to come. As I was walking to a local school in a village I was visiting, I was greeted by a sweet 6th grade girl named Belinda. We walked and talked for hours. It started with all the small talk imaginable. From favorite colors, to siblings, to hobbies, and everything in between. When Belinda told me she loved to read, I asked her if she had a Bible to read. (She attended a Christian school, so I was assuming that she at least had one.) When I asked her this, she smiled and said, "Yes, I read it every day and every night." She shared with me her favorite Bible verse in both Swahili and English. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!" For a girl that had so little, she knew exactly where her joy came from. This was so humbling to me, as it is so easy sometimes to fall into self pity and begin to lose sight of the joy I have in Jesus. Yet someone who seemingly has so much less than me still finds reasons to rejoice in the Lord in every single situation.
Belinda's thoughts on Philippians 4:4 continued to convict me and burden my heart. A few days later in worship, one of my leaders shared a passage of scripture. It came from none other passage than Philippians 4. Paul writes in verses 11-13, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." This passage is so much more than a passage to be tattooed on our arms, or quoted as we strive to pass a big exam. This is about being in deep physical need. We can conquer these things because we have Christ on our side and in our hearts.
Reading and meditating on Philippians 4 tuned my heart and prepared me for the next stop on our village ministry journey. We arrived in a village called Sirwa. Sirwa is a village in the mountains and is absolutely gorgeous. When we arrived at the home we were staying at, I was so convicted seeing the way in which these people live, yet still have so much joy. Their bathroom was nothing but a hole in the ground, their beds a simple mattress pad on the floor, and their meals humble. My heart ached for them, and for the rest of the people in the village seeing how little they had. We spent the next few days living life the way they did. I was not always comfortable, sometimes my tummy felt a little hungry, and my legs ached after walking hours just to get to destinations. But through it all, I gained a better understanding of what Paul was saying, as he faced times of plenty and times of need, learning to be content and joyful through it all. I am aware that my situation was nothing compared to Paul's, but I am so thankful for the way the Lord used Philippians 4 to prepare me and the way he used Sirwa to give me a better understanding of scripture.
When we let the Lord tune us, He draws us closer to Him and reveals more of Himself to us. By letting God pull, twist, and push on my heart, my eyes and heart have been opened to the things He is calling me to. It was not an easy tuning and sometimes it hurt, but now as I get ready for the "performance" ahead, the performance of sharing the gospel with those who have never heard, I am fully confident that it will be all the more beautiful because of the way I allowed the Director to spend time tuning me.
In this time of learning to be tuned by God and in tune with His spirit, I have found a new creed for my life. Here is how it goes:
I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I will not look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight-walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotion, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face or sacrifice, hesitate in the face of adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder in the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, or let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.
Lord, thank you for discomfort. Thank you for showing me that I have been blessed with so much, so that I may pour out to others. Humble me and help me to constantly rejoice and be content in all circumstances. Help me to never resist the fine-tuning of my heart, so that I may be in tune with you, and share you in a more beautiful way. Thank you for being the Director of my life, that always knows where I need a push, pull, or tug.
Amen.
-Amy
Two weeks ago, I sat down in the floor for a time of worship with 20 new faces. As we were about to begin, the worship leader got up and moved to a separate room, urging us to spend a moment in prayer while he tuned his guitar. I asked God, "Lord what does it mean to be tuned?"
I think it is absolutely amazing how God prepares us before hand for the things we will experience. Much like the band director, he meets us face to face and refines our hearts and renews our spirits. This tuning isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it requires a push, a pull, a twist. Sometimes we have to let go of things, or be thrown into situations that we do not understand. But in the end, as we take a deep breath and breathe into the instruments God has given us, all the refining comes out in a beautiful song. A song that magnifies and glorifies the Lord. A song that makes His name known among the nations.
I saw the way the Lord tuned my heart a week ago to prepare me for the days to come. As I was walking to a local school in a village I was visiting, I was greeted by a sweet 6th grade girl named Belinda. We walked and talked for hours. It started with all the small talk imaginable. From favorite colors, to siblings, to hobbies, and everything in between. When Belinda told me she loved to read, I asked her if she had a Bible to read. (She attended a Christian school, so I was assuming that she at least had one.) When I asked her this, she smiled and said, "Yes, I read it every day and every night." She shared with me her favorite Bible verse in both Swahili and English. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!" For a girl that had so little, she knew exactly where her joy came from. This was so humbling to me, as it is so easy sometimes to fall into self pity and begin to lose sight of the joy I have in Jesus. Yet someone who seemingly has so much less than me still finds reasons to rejoice in the Lord in every single situation.
Belinda's thoughts on Philippians 4:4 continued to convict me and burden my heart. A few days later in worship, one of my leaders shared a passage of scripture. It came from none other passage than Philippians 4. Paul writes in verses 11-13, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." This passage is so much more than a passage to be tattooed on our arms, or quoted as we strive to pass a big exam. This is about being in deep physical need. We can conquer these things because we have Christ on our side and in our hearts.
Reading and meditating on Philippians 4 tuned my heart and prepared me for the next stop on our village ministry journey. We arrived in a village called Sirwa. Sirwa is a village in the mountains and is absolutely gorgeous. When we arrived at the home we were staying at, I was so convicted seeing the way in which these people live, yet still have so much joy. Their bathroom was nothing but a hole in the ground, their beds a simple mattress pad on the floor, and their meals humble. My heart ached for them, and for the rest of the people in the village seeing how little they had. We spent the next few days living life the way they did. I was not always comfortable, sometimes my tummy felt a little hungry, and my legs ached after walking hours just to get to destinations. But through it all, I gained a better understanding of what Paul was saying, as he faced times of plenty and times of need, learning to be content and joyful through it all. I am aware that my situation was nothing compared to Paul's, but I am so thankful for the way the Lord used Philippians 4 to prepare me and the way he used Sirwa to give me a better understanding of scripture.
When we let the Lord tune us, He draws us closer to Him and reveals more of Himself to us. By letting God pull, twist, and push on my heart, my eyes and heart have been opened to the things He is calling me to. It was not an easy tuning and sometimes it hurt, but now as I get ready for the "performance" ahead, the performance of sharing the gospel with those who have never heard, I am fully confident that it will be all the more beautiful because of the way I allowed the Director to spend time tuning me.
In this time of learning to be tuned by God and in tune with His spirit, I have found a new creed for my life. Here is how it goes:
I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I will not look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight-walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotion, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face or sacrifice, hesitate in the face of adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder in the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, or let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.
Lord, thank you for discomfort. Thank you for showing me that I have been blessed with so much, so that I may pour out to others. Humble me and help me to constantly rejoice and be content in all circumstances. Help me to never resist the fine-tuning of my heart, so that I may be in tune with you, and share you in a more beautiful way. Thank you for being the Director of my life, that always knows where I need a push, pull, or tug.
Amen.
-Amy
Thursday, April 12, 2018
NYC Spring Break Missions Trip
After returning home from GenSend in New York City this past summer, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to get back to the city as soon as possible. During my spring break, I was blessed with the opportunity to get to do that at Mosaic Baptist Church with 10 incredible people from Troy University’s Baptist Campus Ministries (BCM) and WOW, let me tell you. It was absolutely incredible. The week before the trip, I knew this was going to be something big. I am a firm believer that when the enemy sees the potential in someone or something like a mission trip, he does everything in his power to shut it down. The week before the trip was the hardest week I have had since being in college and possibly even the hardest week I have ever had. I was dealing with the death of my dog (which in comparison to many other things is not a bid deal, but she was my pal and it was still hard), a couple very personal hardships and relationships, and the death of my grandfather. During this time, I found myself praying many times that God would find me faithful in the midst of these trials, even when it didn’t make sense and when I all I really wanted to do was drive home and be with my family. I knew that in order to be faithful to the Lord’s prompting, it was time to pack up and get ready to go back to New York.
We left very early on Friday morning and took a bus to Atlanta to catch our flight to NYC. Several people on our team had never flown so it was super cool to get to experience their first flight with them. We arrived in New York City that afternoon and braved the metro system with all our luggage. We arrived at our hotel and got settled in and then took a subway downtown for dinner. After we finished eating, we took a quick trip to Brooklyn Bridge Park to see the Manhattan skyline. When we came out of the subway, I caught a glimpse of my favorite view in the whole world and my heart felt at home. The night was insanely cold and we definitely were not dressed warm enough, so we cut our time short and headed back to the hotel to prepare for the next day.
We got up early the next morning and headed to Meme’s, a local coffee shop, to meet Pastor Stephen and do a quick orientation before getting to work. When we finished our coffee, we packed up and walked across the street to a theater called “The Black Lady Theater.” Mosaic Baptist Church was hosting a parenting conference there that day consisting of speakers on subjects ranging from nutrition, to helping your child with homework, to Biblical parenting and everything in between. Before the conference, our team helped set up the room, put together gift bags for the families, and greet guests as they arrived. Once the conference started, our team was in charge of child care. Let me set this scene for you…we were in a small square room. We had 6 or 7 kids and 11 adults in that space, the room was empty, and the only thing we had to entertain the kids was a Bluetooth speaker, a few crayons, and one coloring sheet. There was not a lot to work with, and we had to get super creative in order to keep the kids occupied for 5 hours. Thankfully, there were many people on our team who are very passionate for children’s ministry and handled the task like champs. For the first little bit, we played duck-duck-goose, London bridges, ring-a-round-the-rosie, and just ran in very small circles a couple times. (Why do kids like doing that???) When the adults were nice and out of breath, we sat down for a time of Bible Study. We walked through the resurrection of Jesus and how he was not in the tomb when the women arrived there. On a whim, our team started acting out the story as it was read to the children, and they were so engaged and attentive. In the curriculum we were teaching from, it said to have the kids play hide and seek and then relate it to Jesus coming out from being “hidden.” Hide and go seek in a small empty room sounded impossible, but we gave it a shot anyways. I was shocked, but it turned out to be a huge success. We would let the kids hide behind us, under our jackets, or under a sheet that was found in the room and they went along with it and acted like it was the hardest game of hide and seek they had ever played! The game ended up lasting 30-45 minutes or so. After the kids had lunch, we ended the day with some more games and hooked up one of our teammates laptops and watched a few episodes of Veggie Tales. We sent the kids home nice and tired, (you’re welcome, parents) and helped the church pack everything up.
After leaving the theater, we went back to the hotel for a much-needed time of rest. That evening, we headed to Times Square for a night of exploring. We walked around as a group for a little bit, and then the guys split off to go get New York Pizza and the girls headed to treat ourselves to a nice meal at Planet Hollywood.
After leaving the theater, we went back to the hotel for a much-needed time of rest. That evening, we headed to Times Square for a night of exploring. We walked around as a group for a little bit, and then the guys split off to go get New York Pizza and the girls headed to treat ourselves to a nice meal at Planet Hollywood.
Sunday morning, we got to sleep in for a little bit, and then we got ready and walked to Brower Park. On our way, we stopped in Kennedy’s restaurant (I believe that is what it was called) for lunch. We got our food to go, and ate it in the park. The plan was to go prayer walking with Pastor Stephen and for him to give us an orientation to the community and the neighborhood before heading to church. However, our plans had to change when we got a call that Pastor Stephen had to catch a flight to Atlanta to be with his family as his father was expected to pass away. I was very proud of my teammates and how they remained flexible as we reworked our plans. We decided to head back to our hotel for a time of prayer for Pastor Stephen and his family and a Bible Study. After this, we headed to the church to help set up for service. Mosaic does not have their own building, so each week they must come in, take everything down that is not theirs, set up all their equipment and prepare for service. During service, we walked through Psalm 90 and discussed the mortality of man and making our day’s count. It was an awesome service, and it was incredibly encouraging to see how the members of the church came together in a time of hardship, and filled in for Pastor Stephen. As the service was coming to a close, we had a time of prayer for Pastor Stephen’s family and for other members of the church who were dealing with different hardships. It was an incredibly special time for everyone in attendance. After church, we caught the subway and headed to Chinatown and Little Italy for dinner. Half of the team ate at an authentic Chinese restaurant, and then the other half of us ate at an authentic Italian restaurant called Puglia. It was incredibly delicious! When we finished dinner, we met back up as a team and went to the Staten Island Ferry. We rode the ferry and enjoyed the awesome view of The Statue of Liberty and Manhattan.
Monday morning came quickly and we got up and walked to Dunkin Donuts to meet Salome, who was kind enough to step in and fill Pastor Stephen’s role in leading our team. We bought two large things of coffee and then walked to her apartment where there was a second mission team waiting to do orientation with us and then do ministry with us. After hearing from Salome all about the community of Crown Heights and what to expect for the day, we hit the streets with coffee, hot chocolate, invitation cards to the church and hearts ready to share the good news of Jesus. We understood the challenges of ministry in a fast-paced city but we were more than ready to give it our all. We gave out many cups of hot chocolate and coffee as well as the invitation cards to the church. We also got to have several meaningful conversations with people. I personally got to talk to a man named Roy. Roy had never even heard the name Jesus before which was both shocking, as well as heartbreaking to me. It was an honor for me to be the first person to ever share the gospel with him. He was a little bit confused and did not understand how the things I was sharing with him could be true. He expressed that he was lonely and looking for companionship. I shared Mosaic’s information with him and let him know that there are many people there who will love him and be a friend to him, but we believe Jesus is the ultimate companion and friend. We continued having awesome conversations with people throughout the day as we continued to serve. Later in the day, a sweet old lady came walking by with tears in her eyes. I offered her the coffee and hot chocolate but quickly realized she needed something more than that. I asked her if she was okay and if I could help her in any way. She told me she was looking for a doctor and could not find it. She handed me his card, and I pulled up his office on my phone. It ended up only being about a block away so I offered to walk her there. On the way, we shared many laughs and got to have a nice conversation together. When we got to the doctor’s office, I asked her name and if I could pray for her. Her name was Miss Carmen. She did not want me to pray for her at the time, but I still pray for her, and I hope you will too. Through this experience, I learned the importance of meeting people’s needs. If we meet tangible needs of others, they will be more open to hear what we have to say and will willingly trust us. Our actions should be a picture of Jesus as we prepare to verbalize what he has done for us. After lunch, we went on a prayer walk around the community. It was crazy to see how going just one street over could completely change the dynamic of the community. It was definitely evident that Crown Heights is dealing with a lot of racial and economic division and it made our team realize just how desperately these people need the gospel and the unity that Christ brings.
God definitely used us as His vessel on Monday, and we got to share the gospel with several people and plant seeds with dozens of others. When we were done with ministry for the day, we decided to stay in for the night and rest. Later on, we walked a couple blocks down and the majority of the team had dinner at an authentic Mexican restaurant called Chavela’s while the rest of us opted for coffee and smoothies at Duncan Donuts. The rest was much needed and the bonding time was a great way to prepare for our next two days of ministry.
Tuesday morning, we got up and braved the snow and made our way back to Salome’s apartment to get our instructions for the day. (Side note, every member of Mosaic was always so welcoming and willing to have us in their homes. Such wonderful people.) Tuesday was going to be a lot like Monday in that we would be serving coffee and hot chocolate and trying to start gospel conversations. However, this time we would only spend a few hours on Nostrand (the street we were on the day before) and then we would move to Franklin Avenue. Franklin avenue is the hipster side of Crown Heights. Everything is very fancy and pricy. Franklin is also the gentrified area of town. The proper definition of gentrification is the process of renovating and improving a house or district so that it conforms to middle-class taste. Basically, what is happening is middle class people are coming in to take advantage of low housing rates. This in turn raises the prices of housing and displaces lower class people. Because of this, there is a lot of tension in the community and in this area. The people on Franklin are typically not as open to have conversations and are not as friendly as residents in other areas of Crown Heights. We were nervous and skeptical as we made our way to Franklin, but we were willing to follow the Holy Spirit’s prompting and open to speak as we felt led. That day was very hard. The snow kept a lot of people inside for the day, and our location made things harder. However, we were still able to have several conversations with people and invite them to church. It was hard not to feel a little bit discouraged as we left, but we know that God can multiply our efforts and continue to stir the hearts of the people we came in contact with.
Tuesday night, we had the wonderful opportunity to join in with one of Mosaic’s small groups. We had dinner together and then sat down for a time of Bible study. That night, we worked our way through Psalm 90 once again. As we were reading, one verse really fell heavily on my heart. In verse 12 it says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” In life, it is so easy to live looking forward to the next “thing.” In the fall, I am waiting for Thanksgiving and Christmas, in the spring I am looking forward to summer. I seem to always be counting down and waiting for something. But what about all the days between? How many opportunities am I missing out on to point people to Jesus because I am waiting for another day? What if I don’t make it to that day? What if the number of my days is only one? I need to learn to just live for today. I need to learn to see each day as a big day simply because His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) and I have the opportunity to live for Christ and to be His vessel. In my Bible, I wrote myself a quick note. “Don’t waste your life, kid.” I pray that I would see each and every day as a gift and that I would daily seek opportunities to know my Jesus more, and to make Him known to others. Our time together that night was the sweetest time we had together the whole week. Such an encouragement and challenge.
Wednesday was gardening day. Since people in New York City all live in apartments and do not have their own land, parks are essential to them. Brower Park is a special place for the residents of Crown Heights. By meeting tangible needs in the park, and serving the people by handling the gardening and grounds keeping, people begin to trust us and respect us. This led to opportunities to tell people that we were serving as part of Mosaic, but ultimately to point them to Jesus and the gospel. That day we moved mulch and spread it around the trees, turned the compost pile, and helped clean out the butterfly garden in preparation for the monarchs to return when spring comes. As we were working, we met people who were walking around in the park, as well as some people who were skateboarding and playing basketball. We got to have conversations with several of them and invite them to church. We were also joined by Jasmine, who is now a member of the church, but was invited by a missions team like us while she was there playing basketball. It was such an encouragement to have her there, knowing that the effort we were putting in was not pointless. The gardener’s name was Miss Robin. She is not a Christian, but she has a great relationship with several members of Mosaic, including Pastor Stephen. She has even participated in several events put on by the church. Our prayer is that by helping Miss Robin with her responsibilities, we will exemplify the love of Christ and one day she will know Him personally. It was a very physically demanding and tiring day, but it was awesome to have the opportunity to meet the needs of the community.
Wednesday evening, we headed to downtown Brooklyn and walked the Brooklyn Bridge. We walked somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 of the bridge, and then turned around to go back to the metro station. We hopped on the subway, and went a couple stops down to Juniors Restaurant. We enjoyed some delicious Juniors cheesecake, and then took a walk down to DUMBO for a gorgeous view of the Manhattan skyline and a peaceful waterfront park. I truly believe that spot is only of the prettiest places on earth.
The next day was our off day and we spent it exploring Manhattan. In a few hours’ time, we saw the 911 Memorial, Trinity Church, the Wall Street Charging Bull, Grand Central Station, Macy’s, the Empire State Building, and Grand Central Park. We enjoyed just being all together and growing closer to one another. Even though we were technically not doing ministry that day, we went with the understanding that we are to live our lives on a mission, number our days, and not waste any opportunities. Because of this mindset, we still had a few conversations with people we met. After exploring, we headed back to the hotel to pack up our things and spend some quality time as a team. It was sad to pack up, but also very encouraging knowing that we had come, holding back nothing, and put all we had into serving the community of Crown Heights and New York City as a whole.
Friday morning, it was sadly time to leave. While it may have been the end of that trip, I firmly believe it was not the end of my time in New York City, and it was definitely not the end of ministry for any of us. I am so thankful that I did not give in to the hardships I was experiencing the week before the trip and make a decision to stay home. God used that week to teach me, mold me, and grow me in incredible ways.
3 weeks after our trip, Mosaic had their Easter Sunday service. While we were there doing our coffee and hot chocolate ministry, we handed out invites to this service. We got an update from Salome that they had 10 visitors in attendance that Sunday as well as a few visitors who had come in the previous weeks. What a blessing and answer to prayer! Please continue to pray for Pastor Stephen and his family, Miss Robin, Miss Carmen, Roy, and Mosaic Baptist as they continue to serve their community and faithfully share the gospel with them.
“Here I am, send me!” Today, tomorrow, and every day. Let’s live our lives on a mission for Jesus!
-Amy
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Not Home Yet
When I heard the news that the greatest preacher and evangelist, Billy Graham, passed away yesterday, my heart and my mind did not know what to feel. My initial reaction was to be heartbroken. My heart ached for his family and friends, knowing the pain that loss can bring. However, it did not take long for my attitude to change. Joy...so much joy. Billy Graham perfectly embodied Matthew 6:19-20: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Billy Graham is finally home, and I believe he has gained the greatest treasure. Simply imagining his homecoming, brought me to tears. Can you imagine all of the people who were there to greet him and celebrate? I can only imagine the party that happened in Heaven and how sweet it must have sounded when Jesus said, "Well done my good and faithful servant" and wow, do I long to hear those words one day.
Last night, I sat down on my bed and pulled up several articles about Billy Graham's life, and prayed that I would have the courage he had to share the gospel so boldly and faithfully. "Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."
I want to have so much courage that it draws people in, and pushes them to share the gospel boldly. Because from a spark comes a flame, and from a flame a consuming fire.
One quote that really spoke volumes to me was this:
"I have read the last page of the Bible, it's all going to turn out all right."
I immediately turned to the last chapter of Revelation and began reading. It is said three times in this chapter, "Look, I am coming soon!" (verse 7, 12, 20) I asked myself, "If I knew that I would die tomorrow, how would I live today?" To which I answered, "I would tell everyone I came in contact with about the love and hope of Christ and I would be bold and I would this and I would that." But wait a minute, nobody knows the day or the hour...we are not promised tomorrow. So why is my answer different on any given day? Should I not be living each day as if it is my last? That wrecked me and changed my perspective forever.
“Knowing we will be with Christ forever far outweighs our burdens today! Keep your eyes on eternity!”-Billy Graham
Another thing that really spoke to me in Revelation 22 is in the very last verse. What is the very last thing Jesus speaks to us in the Word of God?
"The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."
Grace. The very last thing Jesus leaves us with and speaks to us is grace. So what is grace?
grace: the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings
Free. Unmerited. Not because we deserve it. Because He loves us and gave His life on a cross so that we can spend eternity worshipping Him in His presence. He died the death I deserve in order for me to come to salvation, and He bestows grace upon me. I've never heard a greater love story.
When I look at Billy Graham's life, I see a man who gave up everything for the sake of the gospel and His Kingdom. So what does that look like for me? Maybe God is calling me to stay right where I am and make Him known here. But what if God asked me to go to Africa, or New York City, or India, or wherever for the sake of the gospel? Would I believe in it's power and in God's divine authority enough to leave everything and go? I was once asked this question: "What if God called you to go somewhere and told you that you would only be able to proclaim the gospel once before you were put to death? Would you believe in the power of the gospel enough to still go?" This reminded me of a story I heard this summer at the NAMB and IMB Send Conference of a missionary named Karen Watson who gave up everything to follow God's calling. I strongly suggest you watch it, I promise it will wreck you.
https://vimeo.com/226917825
"My home is in Heaven. I am just passing through."
I want to live everyday knowing that this world is not my home. Not just a head knowledge, but a heart knowledge where my actions are affected and my life looks completely different. There is nothing that could ever happen to me on this earth that heaven cannot fix. What a beautiful day it will be when I finally meet my Savior face to face. Until then, let's make this earth look a little bit more like heaven.
Come, Lord Jesus.-Revelation 22:20
-Amy
Last night, I sat down on my bed and pulled up several articles about Billy Graham's life, and prayed that I would have the courage he had to share the gospel so boldly and faithfully. "Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."
I want to have so much courage that it draws people in, and pushes them to share the gospel boldly. Because from a spark comes a flame, and from a flame a consuming fire.
One quote that really spoke volumes to me was this:
"I have read the last page of the Bible, it's all going to turn out all right."
I immediately turned to the last chapter of Revelation and began reading. It is said three times in this chapter, "Look, I am coming soon!" (verse 7, 12, 20) I asked myself, "If I knew that I would die tomorrow, how would I live today?" To which I answered, "I would tell everyone I came in contact with about the love and hope of Christ and I would be bold and I would this and I would that." But wait a minute, nobody knows the day or the hour...we are not promised tomorrow. So why is my answer different on any given day? Should I not be living each day as if it is my last? That wrecked me and changed my perspective forever.
“Knowing we will be with Christ forever far outweighs our burdens today! Keep your eyes on eternity!”-Billy Graham
Another thing that really spoke to me in Revelation 22 is in the very last verse. What is the very last thing Jesus speaks to us in the Word of God?
"The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."
Grace. The very last thing Jesus leaves us with and speaks to us is grace. So what is grace?
grace: the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings
Free. Unmerited. Not because we deserve it. Because He loves us and gave His life on a cross so that we can spend eternity worshipping Him in His presence. He died the death I deserve in order for me to come to salvation, and He bestows grace upon me. I've never heard a greater love story.
When I look at Billy Graham's life, I see a man who gave up everything for the sake of the gospel and His Kingdom. So what does that look like for me? Maybe God is calling me to stay right where I am and make Him known here. But what if God asked me to go to Africa, or New York City, or India, or wherever for the sake of the gospel? Would I believe in it's power and in God's divine authority enough to leave everything and go? I was once asked this question: "What if God called you to go somewhere and told you that you would only be able to proclaim the gospel once before you were put to death? Would you believe in the power of the gospel enough to still go?" This reminded me of a story I heard this summer at the NAMB and IMB Send Conference of a missionary named Karen Watson who gave up everything to follow God's calling. I strongly suggest you watch it, I promise it will wreck you.
https://vimeo.com/226917825
"My home is in Heaven. I am just passing through."
I want to live everyday knowing that this world is not my home. Not just a head knowledge, but a heart knowledge where my actions are affected and my life looks completely different. There is nothing that could ever happen to me on this earth that heaven cannot fix. What a beautiful day it will be when I finally meet my Savior face to face. Until then, let's make this earth look a little bit more like heaven.
Come, Lord Jesus.-Revelation 22:20
-Amy
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