Wednesday morning as I entered the Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport, I was overcome with fear, doubt, and anxiousness. I questioned if I was doing the right thing and if I could actually do this “traveling by myself” thing. However, in my moments of doubt I thought back to a mission trip I went on in March. I had a lot of fear about that trip also, so much so that the night before I left for the trip I almost drove home instead. But that trip was honestly life changing for me. It was where I began feeling a strong calling for missions and also where I found out about the GenSend program and began my application. Had I let my fears hold me back, the doors that are opened for me now, the things I have learned, and the growth I have experienced would not have happened. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that the devil is a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. The enemy knows the goodness that lies ahead of you, and he tries to hit you where it hurts to stop you from chasing after God’s plans for you. I knew that all this uncertainty and fear was just a sign that God was about to do something big, and the devil just couldn’t stand it. So with that thought in my heart and mind, I walked to my gate and prepared myself for the incredible adventure the Lord was about to take me on.
God also taught me a lot about perspective during the flight. It is crazy to me that standing on the ground looking up, the clouds seem to be as far as the sky goes. However, when you fly, you realize there is so much more beyond the clouds. You just can’t see it because you aren’t in the proper position to see it. I think that is kind of a metaphor for our fears. When we are standing low and looking at our fears and situations that look so much bigger than us, it is hard to see that there is more beyond them. However, when you take your stance upon the solid rock, and look above to God and learn to see things from His perspective, you realize just how small these things you are anxious about really are and it changes things.
Side note, my sister made me a playlist of her favorite Christian music to listen to on the plane, and she absolutely killed it. Shoutout to you, sis!
When I finally arrived in Phoenix, I was met with many smiling and welcoming faces. Within minutes, my fears and anxieties were gone. I could not have hand-picked my team any better. They are some of the most godly people I have ever met and we are a perfect balance of humor, encouragement, and talent. Oh my gosh, talent!!!!! My team is so so talented. I could go on and on but I won’t for now. Just stay tuned to my Snapchat stories. I am sure you will see plenty there. ;) In no time, the people who were strangers days before turned to family. The unity and bond we experienced was something that only comes through a common love for Christ and the desire to make His kingdom known. We are family because of the cross.
Night by night, our worship sessions got better and better. One night as we were singing, I noticed myself subconsciously dancing. Not like for real dancing, but just a little bouncing and rocking if you get me. I recalled a time where I was challenged to “dance” in the river of God’s mercy and grace, and from that let my worship overflow. I started praying, and just trying to figure out why I had not come back to that “river” where my worship overflowed. God spoke to me and said, “it’s because you don’t like it in the river.” Like what does that even mean? I love to worship. But He kept going, “The river is challenging. It pulls you in and it is constantly moving and taking you places and you don’t like that.” And that hit me. I think sometimes I come to the river and I only put my feet in. I just worship a little bit and pray a little bit and I don’t dare to get in all the way, because I know it will draw me in and take me places. The shore is comfortable, but the river will get me somewhere. I don’t want to be so afraid of what God may ask of me, that I fail to go in deeper with Him. I want to get all the way in.
That night, we looked at the passage in Matthew 14 where Peter gets out of the boat and walks on water towards Jesus. Most of the time, we look at this passage and only see that Peter got out of the boat, took his eyes off of Jesus, and then began to sink. However, this time we looked at it a little differently. At least Peter stepped out of the boat. What about the guys that stayed in the boat? What kept them there? We were asked this question, “What is keeping you in your boat? What is preventing you from stepping out and walking towards Jesus?” Matthew 6:21 tells us that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I do not want to store up so much treasure in my “boat” that it keeps me there. The cross before me, the world behind me. I want to step out and fix my eyes on my Savior’s precious face and walk to Him and with Him daily and never look back. I may fail, but at least I had the courage and faith to step out.
One last thing I learned was that worship has a way of drawing people in. On our next to last night in Phoenix, a handful of people gathered in the stairwell and began singing together. Little by little, people kept coming in and joining. Before we knew it, we had been there for hours and never once grew tired of singing praises to our wonderful and merciful Savior. On another occasion, my group just began singing old hymns at dinner. People kept dropping by our table to listen, and at one point we had an older man standing at our table sobbing. He said to us, “that’s the most beautiful sermon I have heard in a while.” I sometimes get so caught up in making things sound good, and taking time to plan perfect details and forget that worship doesn’t have to get so complex. We can gather with a guitar in a stairwell or just use our voices at the dinner table. God can take those situations, draw people to Himself, and do big things from a small effort.
My time in Phoenix for orientation was amazing. I learned so much and I am so incredibly excited to see how God uses my team these next six weeks in New York!! Please keep us in your prayers as we serve 3 neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Let’s do this!!!
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