"Worth it."
This was the very first thought that popped into my head as the wheels of flight 1588 touched the ground in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Exactly 141 days before, I was sitting in a hotel room in New York City, reluctantly putting in an application for summer missions overseas. This came as a response to a small group I attended where we walked through Psalm 90 and focused in on verse 12 which says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." With a heavy heart, I wrote myself a note in my Bible that said, "Don't waste your life, kid."
I can say very confidently, this summer was not a waste. At debrief, I was asked to summarize my whole summer in one sentence. To me, this seemed impossible. 8 weeks in one sentence? No way. But as I thought back over each and every person I met, only one sentence came to mind.
One night, I was woken up at 3 am to one of my girls crying very loudly. I walked over to her bed and asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I am just very homesick." I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down and praying over her. The next day, I messaged my parents and told them how much I saw myself in her. 10 years ago, I was a very different person. I struggled with extreme separation anxiety, and rarely left home. At one point, I decided to go to summer camp, but spent every night crying while my counselor sat beside my bed and did her best to comfort me. If you would have told me then that 10 years later the roles would be reversed and I would be doing the same thing for one of my campers 8,200 miles away from home, I would have said you were crazy. But God is so faithful to take our circumstances, grow us, and use us as part of His perfect plan for His glory. When I told my parents this story, my dad replied, "God can literally use anybody." And that sentence can easily summarize my whole summer.
When my team arrived back at Camp BlueSky after 2 weeks of traveling, (check out my Tune My Heart blog for more on that) I settled into my new home and spent a few days preparing for my first cabin. That week, I was assigned to 9 Satima girls which are 10 and 11 year olds. As each one arrived at camp, they each brought something special. Sass, kindness, humor, intelligence, and energy just to name a few. It did not take me very long to find myself loving each one of them deeply, but one girl in particular stole my heart. Let's just call her Katie for now. From the moment Katie walked into Cottage F, I knew she was something special.
Every night as I sent my girls to bed, I would take a few minutes to go around to each one of them one on one and ask them about their day. I referred to this time as "bedtime buddies." The second night, as I got to Katie's bed, I asked her what she had learned that day. She responded, "I learned that Jesus loves me and He is real." She continued to tell me that she comes from an atheist home, and she did not want to be like her parents. "I really like Christianity," she told me. I was so encouraged by this conversation, and could hardly wait to continue pouring into her the rest of the week.
Every Wednesday night at BlueSky, we have "cross talk." The kids are consistently exposed to the gospel multiple times every day at camp, but Wednesday night is the night we explicitly explain it and walk through the scriptures of Jesus' death and resurrection. When we finish, we take all the campers out to an open field and let them lay down under the stars and spend some time thinking and praying about the things they feel the Lord speaking to them. As my girls were laying there, my co-counselor and I (shoutout to Kirsten, what a champ!) walked around and spent a few minutes with each of our girls individually. When we got to Katie, we sat down and asked her what was on her mind. She replied, "I am just confused." When I asked her what she was confused about, she replied, "Not Jesus, I know He is real." My heart almost exploded. Kirsten and I continued to ask her questions and after a few minutes, she told us that she wanted to accept Jesus into her heart. Praise God!
Later that night, Kirsten and I got to give Katie her very first Bible. We wrote her a couple notes with prayers and encouragement, and the smile that came across her face was a smile I will never forget. The next night, as we sat down for our cabin devotion time, we got on the topic of creation. I was about to start walking through the story when Katie quickly spoke up. "Let me tell them!! I read it today." Without hesitation, Katie walked the cabin through the whole story of creation, almost word for word. She told me that she had spent her whole rest time reading through Genesis. What a blessing to see a child so passionate about the Word and sharing it with others, even when she had only been a Christian for a day.
The next week, I moved down to the Suswa age group. I had 8 girls ages 7-9, and I was blessed with another wonderful co-counselor that week. (*claps for Hannah*) When my girls started arriving in the cabin, I could tell it was going to be another wonderful week, but it was also evident that the week would come with many challenges. One of my girls, let's call her Sally, came in and very quickly announced, "I am not religious!" We continued on with our day, and I did my best to point every one of my girls to Jesus in every situation. That night, as we sat down for our cabin rewind/devotion time, Sally saw my Bible in front of me, and questioned, "Is that a Bible?!?!" I replied and told her it was, and again repeated, "I am not religious!!" I explained to her that we were at a Christian camp so we would be reading it anyways. When I got to Sally during bedtime buddies, I asked her what she had learned and she said, "Well, I will tell you this...next summer I am coming back, but I am going to make sure to bring a Bible because tonight I learned how important it is." I explained to her that she did not have to wait a whole year and that I could give her a Bible the very next day, and that is exactly what I did.
From the moment Hannah and I gave Sally her Bible, she would not put it down. She read during rest time, during dinner, and at bedtime. She read for so long that we had to practically force her to go to sleep. How incredible is it that less than 24 hours after she had announced that she was "not religious," she was reading her Bible constantly?! Only Jesus.
Wednesday night as we were getting ready for cross talk, I was so excited to see how Sally would respond. I could hardly wait to sit with her and see where she was at. As our conversation went longer and longer, it just seemed as if Sally was getting more and more confused about who Jesus is and what He has done for us. I walked into the conversation so confident, yet walked away so discouraged. I had to remind myself that it is never me that saves people. Jesus is the only one who has the power to save, and it is only our job to be a tool in His tool belt and be faithful to share with those He puts in our path. Everything in me was saying to give up on her, but the Lord reminded me that if He has not given up on her, neither should I. We continued to pour into Sally the rest of the week, and had so many people praying for her.
Friday morning, I had the incredible opportunity to speak at Jr. Camp Empower. This was a time where the two youngest age groups, boys and girls, came together for a morning worship time. Thursday night, I hardly slept. I spent a while sitting on my porch walking through the scripture I was going to share and taking notes. When I finally got in bed to try to sleep, I woke up several times during the night and just could not rest. I even had a dream that I got up to speak and forgot everything I was supposed to share. Every time I would wake up, I would pray that the Lord would give me the words to say.
When I got to breakfast the next morning, I went up to one of BlueSky's amazing leaders, and asked her to pray for me. I told her about my restless night and how I was not sure why, but I was incredibly nervous to speak. She looked at me and said, "Something good is about to happen." About an hour later, I spoke about Simon Peter and how he denied Jesus 3 times. When Jesus was resurrected, He reinstated Simon Peter by asking Him 3 times, "Simon Peter, do you love me?" The next night, Sally came up to me during a prayer time and she said to me, "Amy, tonight I heard a voice in my head. The voice said, 'Sally, do you love me?' and I told the voice yes." I then explained to her that it wasn't just a voice that she heard in her head, it was Jesus. I asked her if she believed Jesus was real, and that everything she had been reading in her Bible was true. It was like she turned into a preacher. She started stomping back and forth and exclaiming things about Jesus and His character. "Nobody else could do what Your God does!" Sally then asked Jesus into her heart. What a blessing!
There is so much I could tell you about people God chose to use this summer and the way He revealed Himself to me and strengthened my faith. We could talk about perspective, about growth, about all the amazing things BlueSky has to offer, about how many kids we saw come to faith in Christ this summer, and so much more. But here is the gist of everything I could tell you...do not be afraid to follow the Lord and pursue the callings He places over your life. He can literally use anybody, even you. He can use your brokenness, He can use your doubt, He can use you mess-ups, your discouragements, your highs, and your lows. And I can promise you this...it will be worth it. Every. Single. Time. He is so so faithful, and He will never stop pursuing us.
If you would like to know more about all the incredible things the Lord did this summer, please do not hesitate to message me. I could talk for hours!!
Thank you so much to each and every one of you that supported me both financially and in prayer. Your encouragement and support meant the world, and I could not have made it through the summer without you all. I cannot wait to share the next adventure the Lord takes me on, and as I said last year when I returned home from NYC,
Until everyone sees.
Until everyone hears.
Until everyone knows.
Send me.
-Amy
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